Thread: The Grilling Thread

Originally Posted by Unfiltered

Az - Would you still use a foil boat with a salmon steak, too? (I'm of course assuming you meant fillets above.)

I prefer a foil boat or a cedar plank for the smoke. I tend to like my fish softer vs crusty.

Originally Posted by Unfiltered

Az - Would you still use a foil boat with a salmon steak, too? (I'm of course assuming you meant fillets above.)

How much thicker are the steaks compared to the fillet? I usually have luck with the foil boat, but it can get tricky with the thicker ones.

Foil boats are for fags.

Use a plank. Don't buy one of those pussy premade ones from Barbeques Galore either.

Go down to your local mom and pop hardware store and ask for an axe. The horror movie axe. Stutter at least twice during the transaction and if you can pull one off convincingly, a twitch is always good.

Grab your Rambo knife and slice into a few trees near your home. Pine is easy and The Velvet Merkin has noticed that people generally care less when you take them. The Velvet Merkin assumes they are tired of sweeping up the needles and slipping on pine cones at three in the morning after your ******* friend talked you into the last four sakebombs.

Chop the tree at angle. Downward is generally safer but real mean go upward at a 56% angle. It really works the fore arm and chick's dig the Popeye look. You don't believe The Velvet Merkin? Look at how many kids Steve Garvey has.

Once the three falls, hopefully not on a school or into some dog poo, drag that bitch home and feed it into your circular saw. The planks are usable in 3 weeks or you can speed the process up by baking them at like 200 for One day at a time. Schneider will check this progress daily and will also have a witty comment to your teenage daughter.

Presoak before using.

Throw it on your grill for 15 minutes to get some smoke vapor going and cook your fish the man's way.

The foil boat is the tin paper hat of barbequing.

Don't they launch the foil boats a few hours ahead of the black helicopters?

Yawn.....

is the velvet merkin making a point of how to be a man in a thread where the op told him to be a man and quit talking in the 3rd person in another thread? or do men just love telling each other to be a man and do ------ the right way?

My two cents....I have a propane BBQ for what its worth.
It must be that time of year because like Daxx I got some new lava rocks for my bbq as well as some new chips.


Fish- by all means Cedar Plank it. Ive done Shrimp, Scallops, and almost every other fish and you simply cant go wrong. Even Chicken is fantastic. The Merkins guide to Plank prep was pretty much dead on. And by all means use this stuff as well....use it liberally-its almost impossible to use too much its that good.



For Veggies use a Basket- Chop up whatever veggies you want to use and put them in a mixing bowl. Drizzle Olive Oil and add crushed garlic and whatever herbs you want to throw. If you dont have the herbs use some Lawreys or Lemon Pepper. I usually go with Maui Onion, Red Peppers, Mushrooms, and Asparagus. You can add shrimp or scallops near the end if you want to use it as a main dish. For a little extra pizzaz throw in some wine or brandy near the end of the cook cycle for a little flambe action.

For Steaks-and this is key if you have Propane; its trial and error. Use the same dial setting everytime and you should be able to eventually get where you can cook the perfect steak. A Rule of Thumb on the perfect heat for steaks is if you can put your hand over the grill for 4-5 seconds before pulling it away. Also use a Kitchen timer-Ive got it down where I know I can cook the steaks for 5-6 minutes, flip em and cook another 4 minutes or so to have them just perfect. You can also get perfect grill marks simply by rotating the steak from the 10 oclock position to the 2 oclock position half way through.

Also not a bad idea to get a good pair of tongs. Not the cheapies at the 99 cent store either-you want something with a rubber handle that has enough grip and strength that it will not bend.

I actually have 2 pairs-one is an old long beat up pair I can use to shift the lava rocks, spread chips, and even use it to pick up a hot grate. The other pair is a food only pair. I also use a cheap plastic ketchup bottle handy to battle any flare up-filled with apple juice it will even flavor the meat. Someone here from LGK shared that with me one time and you cant go wrong.

Grill away and share some pics! Ill try and share some more recipes as we get closer to summer.

Originally Posted by lunchbox

is the velvet merkin making a point of how to be a man in a thread where the op told him to be a man and quit talking in the 3rd person in another thread? or do men just love telling each other to be a man and do ------ the right way?

The Velvet Merkin didn't even know that happened. The Velvet Merkin is not a passive aggressive Merkin.

Originally Posted by Velvet Merkin

The Velvet Merkin didn't even know that happened. The Velvet Merkin is not a passive aggressive Merkin.

Ankle biter.