Seth Gordon, who made a classic documentary and one of the best sports movies in recent memory with his videogame chronicle "King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters" before moving on to painfully mediocre comedies like the summertime smash "Horrible Bosses," listlessly directed "Identity Thief" like someone who literally had nothing better to do with his time. Every scene droops instead of bounces, but perhaps more crucially, "Identity Thief" is almost smug in its own excess, seeming to think that having Melissa McCarthy do her increasingly tired schtick and Jason Bateman frown is enough to carry a movie. The two actors are game, but unanchored, both by the script by Craig Mazin ("The Hangover Part II," "Scary Movie 4" which says all you need to know) and by Gordon, who doesn't so much direct the movie as just turn the camera on.
With long stretches (we're talking 20-30 minutes) without a single guffaw, "Identity Thief" is aggressively dull, and will joylessly steal two hours of your life that you will never get back. [D]