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Thread: MitchHedberg.net

  1. #11
    Selke Smooth notbob's Avatar




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    Quote Originally Posted by Luc SkyBomba View Post
    i think i'm gonna start reading EVERYTHING in mitch's voice
    I was thinking of reading the bible before the big rapture on saturday. Maybe i will do it in Mitch's voice.
    Maniacal Laugh, Maniacal Laugh, Maniacal Laugh

  2. #12
    Kitty Photobomb! Kingsqueen's Avatar




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    Quote Originally Posted by bob8880 View Post
    Sorry for the convenience, temporarily stairs.
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  3. #13
    Kitty Photobomb! Kingsqueen's Avatar




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    "When you go to a restaurant on the weekends and it's busy they start a waiting list. They start calling out names, they say "Dufresne, party of two. Dufresne, party of two." And if no one answers they'll say their name again. "Dufresne, party of two, Dufresne, party of two." But then if no one answers they'll just go right on to the next name. "Bush, party of three." Yeah, what happened to the Dufresnes? No one seems to give a ****. Who can eat at a time like this? People are missing! You ****ers are selfish. The Dufresnes are in someone's trunk right now, with duct tape over their mouths. And they're hungry. That's a double whammy. Bush, search party of three, you can eat when you find the Dufresnes."
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  4. #14
    Little Priest Noble Savage's Avatar




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    "Buy a pizza, get a free pizza oven. Offer not valid at Mitch's Pizza."
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  5. #15
    I put the D in RICHARSON Luc SkyBomba's Avatar




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    this shirt says 'dry clean only', that means it's DIRTY
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  6. #16
    Kitty Photobomb! Kingsqueen's Avatar




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    "I've got so much tartar, I don't have to dip my fishsticks in s**t! (That's, that's actually kind of gross, you know? After that joke I always clarify that I'm just jokin'. I do not know how much tartar I actually have. I believe it's the average amount. If we all took a tartar test right now, my name would be right in the f***in' middle)."
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  7. #17
    Kitty Photobomb! Kingsqueen's Avatar




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    "I've got an oscillating fan at my house. The fan goes back and forth. It looks like the fan is saying "No". So I like to ask it questions that a fan would say "no" to. "Do you keep my hair in place?... Do you keep my documents in order?... Do you have three settings? Liar! My fan ******ing lied to me. Now I will pull the pin up. Now you ain't sayin' s**t."

  8. #18
    Kitty Photobomb! Kingsqueen's Avatar




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    "I like cinnamon rolls. That's why I wish they made, like, a cinnamon roll incense. 'Cause I don't always have time to make a pan. Perhaps I'd rather light a stick, and have my roommates wake up with false hopes."
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  9. #19
    I put the D in RICHARSON Luc SkyBomba's Avatar




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    i saw a commercial for an above ground pool that was 30 seconds. why was it 30 seconds? because that's the maximum amount of time i can picture myself having fun in an above ground pool. after 30 seconds, i would be like, what do i do next?
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  10. #20
    1st Scoring Line




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    My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?
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