After all that, I'm pretty sure I'll be with you guys on Saturday night.
Clearly she's a flake, not worth your time. You know what will never let you down? A clean sheet of ice. She won't ever judge you or tell you you're going too fast, or complain you want a nap afterwards. Won't complain you sweat, smell or swear, and is always willing to let your friends join in. Why would you want anything else on a Sat night?
Hey Burrito Boy! You gotta wear your road cone jersey on Saturday. It'll be just like old times. You standing there, me skating around you... just like a good road cone should. You're basically the LGK Modry, because NHL players skated around him like a road cone for years. Just like him, you show flashes of 'meh' followed by prolonged periods of 'bleh'.
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Now go away.