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Thread: I hate hard butter and sidewalk pedestrian traffic jams.

  1. #31
    1st Scoring Line Drunken Crunker's Avatar




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    Quote Originally Posted by The Velvet Merkin View Post
    Has anyone ever approached you to sell Amway?

    Actually never. But there have been multiple attempts by many to convert me into a Jehovah's Witness.


    If a guy is dating a girl over 25 why is it his girlfriend? Why isn't it his Woman Friend?

    I agree, and furthermore whenever I am dating I require my significant other to refer to me as her "Man Friend"... and then 'cause I'm so gangsta I say I A'INT NO ONES BOY BEOTCH!@!Then I double tap the glock strapped to my leg and scowl for extra emphasis...then I like to sit down; cuddle, and enjoy a bowl of chunky monkey....

    The Velvet Merkin got a request/demand from The Pincushion Merkin's in his voicemail to bring home eggs.
    Should The Velvet Merkin attempt to an excellent "Man Friend" and take it to the next level by bringing home a few geese-a-laying?

    I'd bring home 6.

    What if Hollywood made prostitutes wear chicken hats like this?


    I think a lot of "Johns" would start dressing up as Roosters.


    What percentage drop would you estimate the city would see in prostitutes on Santa Monica boulevard? Or do you think prostitution would actually increase in an attempt to get such cool hats?

    Decrease in Hollywood...increase in Kentucky.

    What is the last thing you bought on E-bay?

    I have never bought on E-bay.

    Do you think an Al Iafrate slapshot to the pelvic region would break an athletic cup? Or would the entire jockstrap just pull a France and make run for it when they saw him winding up?

    I think the jockstrap would pull a "Salo". Al Iafrate slapshot? To stick around would be nutz
    Last edited by Drunken Crunker; June 20th, 2010 at 06:18 PM.

  2. #32
    Cougar Patrol geogirl's Avatar




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    How did I not see this thread before? It amuses me. Nicely done, Drunken Crunker.

  3. #33
    Sick Geno ya plug P. Diddy's Avatar




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    Tsn or rds?
    Red bull and vodka or vodka and tonic?
    Kovalchuk or marleau?
    Paul kariya and temmu sellane or jagr and Lemieux?
    Jaques villenue or aj Foyt?!
    NASCAR or cascar?
    Wendys or kfc?
    Raptors or grizzlies?
    Do you have a cool old 90's Canucks jeresey you wanna give me?
    Meatwad or master shake?
    Frylock or Carl?
    Bender or stewie on the family guy?
    Do you know where Jason labarbera lives? I want some money back
    Kelly hrudey or Robb stauber?
    Kirk McLean or Bobby Lou?
    Jesus or Moses?
    How ****ing cute are polar bears?
    Wanna go club some seals?

  4. #34
    My beard is weird. Mr. Teeny's Avatar




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    I once spent a night in Chilliwack. It wasn't very cold. I saw no bears.





    (P.S. This is not a question.)
    Last edited by Mr. Teeny; June 15th, 2010 at 03:53 PM.
    Have you ever guessed somebody's gender wrong? There's no recovering from that. You just gotta move on, cause you ain't wriggling outta nothin'.
    "Hey, excuse me, sir?"
    "Maam."
    "Okay." "Okay, bye... bye, human. Bye person. Nice to meet you, individual."
    -Brian Regan

  5. #35
    The Velvet Merkin
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    Do you think an Al Iafrate(in his prime) slapshot to the pelvic region would break an athletic cup? Or would the entire jockstrap just pull a France and make run for it when they saw him winding up?

    What kind of restitution do think you Canada owes the rest of the world for Justin Bieber?

    What is your favorite thing about LA Kings fans?

    Have you been able to convince any Canucks fans that LA Kings fans aren't bandwagonning Lakers fans?

    Heidi Androl: Hot or not?

    How did you decide on your screename? Do you think you could out drink Keith Richards?


    Have you ever bought milk in a bag?

    If you could isolate one day as the best day of your life? What happened?

    As a Sean, what are your thoughts on "Shawn"s?

  6. #36
    Kid of the Shartbox!




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    Quote Originally Posted by The Velvet Merkin View Post
    Heidi Androl: Hot or not?
    Drunk or not drunk???!?

  7. #37
    1st Scoring Line Drunken Crunker's Avatar




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    Quote Originally Posted by THE Power Down Guy View Post
    Tsn or rds?
    Red bull and vodka or vodka and tonic?
    Kovalchuk or marleau?
    Paul kariya and temmu sellane or jagr and Lemieux?
    Jaques villenue or aj Foyt?!
    NASCAR or cascar?
    CASCAR is relatively big in the East though.
    Wendys or kfc?
    Raptors or grizzlies?
    Do you have a cool old 90's Canucks jeresey you wanna give me?
    I don't even have one for myself. Oddly enough I never been much of a Jersey collector. I did have a Team Canada one until someone stole it from me and I used to wear my GF's Gretzky jersey all the time.
    Meatwad or master shake?
    I need to watch more Aqua Teen Hunger Force to make an educated and informed decision but my preliminary gut response is to go with Master Shake.
    Frylock or Carl?
    See my above post but insert Frylock in place of M.S.
    Bender or stewie on the family guy?
    Do you know where Jason labarbera lives? I want some money back
    No. He hasn't returned any of my calls since the hot tub incident at my Aunt Veronica's house.
    Kelly hrudey or Robb stauber?
    Kirk McLean or Bobby Lou?

    Jesus or Moses?
    How ****ing cute are polar bears?
    ****ing cute!!!!
    Wanna go club some seals?
    How about next Tuesday night after I get back from volunteering to feed the homeless.

    Bring duct tape, a flashlight, a package of red M&M's and either a copy of Jewelbox or Soul. I'll meet you at the harbour at dusk.

  8. #38
    1st Scoring Line Drunken Crunker's Avatar




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    Quote Originally Posted by The Velvet Merkin View Post
    Do you think an Al Iafrate(in his prime) slapshot to the pelvic region would break an athletic cup? Or would the entire jockstrap just pull a France and make run for it when they saw him winding up?

    Pull a France

    What kind of restitution do think you Canada owes the rest of the world for Justin Bieber?

    Nothing. We balanced it out by also giving you the joy and love that is Celine Dion.

    What is your favorite thing about LA Kings fans?

    Their hockey knowledge and fierce loyalty to the Kings.


    Have you been able to convince any Canucks fans that LA Kings fans aren't bandwagonning Lakers fans?

    A few. But most of the converts really knew that anyways. It's obvious as soon as you look for yourself.


    Heidi Androl: Hot or not?

    Hot. Both drunk and sober.


    How did you decide on your screename? Do you think you could out drink Keith Richards?

    I was nick named it at a party when I was extremely drunk and tried crunking.

    Pffftt...Keith Richards couldn't hold my jock strap...



    Have you ever bought milk in a bag?

    Yes. Twas delicious and still left a mustache.

    If you could isolate one day as the best day of your life? What happened?

    true love and the ability to speak Portuguese.


    As a Sean, what are your thoughts on "Shawn"s?

    They should be drawn and quartered.



  9. #39
    The Velvet Merkin
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    As a Canucks fan, what would be your perfect offseason?

    Have you ever been to LA?

    Do you have a favorite spot in "The States"?

    How often do you eat poutine?

    What insect/Arachnid/whatever do you fear the most?

    If you were to give advice to a new LGKer, what would it be?

    How long did you lurk before you joined?

    What poster(s) did you really notice ,good or bad, during your lurking days?

  10. #40
    #SimianNation mitchrock's Avatar




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    Cruncker, when getting ready to pass out for the night, do you roll up the stairs or down?

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