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Thread: (warning) LONG due to severe boredom @ work… pls help me

  1. #1
    Bitches man... bitches!




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    Default (warning) LONG due to severe boredom @ work… pls help me

    Hi everyone ,

    I’ve been reading this site for years but have never grabbed my balls and posted anything before…oh wait I am a girl so I guess that would explain why I’ve never pulled the trigger on that particular act. While I am on the subject of balls, I just want you all to know that my screen name is based solely on what I call people when they act like complete idiots = a.k.a. Wings/Ducks/Sharks/Avs fans etc etc. “Down in front, SlapNutz!”, “Hey SlapNutz, shove that duck call up your cornhole!” You get the drift. NO, I do not condone actual nut slappin’ of any kind. Why do I suddenly sound more “ball” crazy than puck crazy??? Oh I can see that this is going to be a great first impression. Moving on…

    Blurb about me: I’m 32, an Aries and I enjoy long walks on the beach, oh sorry wrong place for that kind of intro. I was born on L.I. then moved here to the god-forsaken Antelope Valley about 20 years ago, just in time for the Gretzky era. I have been a Kings fan since 1987… although I still have loyalties to the Islanders and I will always posses an ungodly detestation deep in my soul for the NY Ranjerks and obviously anyone playing the Kings. I have put many many miles on my cars driving from the desert to The Forum/Staples over the years. The current price of gas will not keep me from games, but it will severely cut into my game night booze budget. Damn you OPEC!

    The night I almost killed a man: As many had tried that night…my foolish father attempted to get us to leave the “Stunner at Staples” halfway through the 3rd period. He claimed it was due to the hopeless score and the fact that 99.5% of our section had actually flown in from Detroit so it’s needless to say that they were all way past the point of obnoxious and drunker than *****house rats. Lucky for my Pops I am a stubborn-arse Irish gal and I refused to hang my head in shame while slinking out early from our own home arena that was filled to the gills with the enemy & their lemmings. Admit defeat??? I would NEVER = it’s clearly why I am still a Kings fan. I think I pulled actual muscles (prob in my middle fingers) gloating & celebrating that night. I know I scarred some of the younger Wings fans for life… I am not a good example for children as you will read below.

    Corrupting my youth: The tyke in my avatar is my soon-to-be “round headed” son & mini-Kings fan in training. He even comes complete with his own helmet, until his SpongeBob SquareHead reshapes a bit. I thought it would bother him to wear it for 3 months but it comes in handy with him crawling around bonking his noggin’ on everything in my house, he just keeps on going. Just to be clear, I did not punch my beloved child in the mouth in that picture . He did an amazingly brutal face-plant last week and bit his lip (I guess he needs a face shield now too). I SWEAR my house is baby-proofed, he’s just top heavy for now and loses his balance a lot. However, I could not pass up the opportunity to snap that pic & enhance it with a nice Kings logo. He’ll thank me (or have me committed) later.

    Yes, I have issues and now you all know… sorry for rambling. It’s what happens when you lurk for years & never make friggin’ post. Either that or I really need to lay off the java!

  2. #2
    Bust a nut at the hut HOCKEYAHOLIC's Avatar




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    With that wacked out hello, I'm new here post I think you'll fit right in.

    Cranial Therapies does wonders for the kids noggin if he was born with a flat spot on his head or something of that nature. How many people did you want to beat the **** out of the first week he had it on?

  3. #3
    I revoke Man Cards FishMonger's Avatar




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    Welcome and goodluck

  4. #4
    Luc says: how you doin'? VegasHockey's Avatar




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    Boredom at work = most posts on LGK.

  5. #5
    Cami & Kopi girl4kings's Avatar




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    Welcome to the crazy world of LGK. I'm sure you will fit in just fine.

  6. #6
    Bitches man... bitches!




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    Hockeyaholic - I wanted to beat the **** out of every person who even looked cross-eyed at my son for the first few weeks. I have a bit of a temper and this kid is my world.

    I remember after the first 3 weeks I was at Costco and some stranger came up from behind me and put her arms around me and said, "God Bless you Mommy. Others don't realize what it takes to raise a "special" child." Lady, he was born with a super conehead, that's it!. But I contained myself (rare) and thanked her for her concern. At least she didn't look down on him like some other nutjobs I have come across.

    Bonus - we went to Manhattan last month and everyone at the Empire State Bldg assumed he was a disabled child so we went straight top the top in like 2 minutes = no waiting. I was offended for about .5 seconds. Apparently I am not above pimping out my child... hopefully he will appreciate my skills later in life.

  7. #7
    #SimianNation mitchrock's Avatar




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    Welcome to another Long Island transplant and fellow Isles fans. Cute kid.

  8. #8
    King of Swing BIG JOE's Avatar




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  9. #9
    Bitches man... bitches!




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    Quote Originally Posted by BIG JOE View Post
    Sweet!!! There's a squirrel here

  10. #10
    Winning is habitual. Len-Det64's Avatar




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    You'll fit right in here at LGK.



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