Click Here!
Page 3 of 33 FirstFirst 1 2 3 4 5 13 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 323
Like Tree570Likes

Thread: The bad (or even good) joke thread!

  1. #21
    Registered Redophile King Ludwig's Avatar




    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    5,186
    Liked
    3190 times
    Karma
    62220000
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    225 Post(s)

    Default

    A blonde woman wearing an Anaheim Ducks jersey went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.

    "Sorry, we don't sell to Ducks fans," he replied.

    She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV."

    "Sorry, we don't sell to Ducks fans," he replied.

    "Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new color, put on a Vancouver Canucks jersey, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."

    "Sorry, we don't sell to Ducks fans," he replied.

    Frustrated, she exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Ducks fan?"

    "Because that's a microwave," he replied.

  2. #22
    Dolphins Hate Sharks! orpheus's Avatar




    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Posts
    17,031
    Liked
    7854 times
    Karma
    2147483647
    Mentioned
    5 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    410 Post(s)

    Default

    Q. What do you call a Vancouver Canuck with a Stanley Cup ring?
    A. A thief.

    Q: Why won't they give Kelowna a professional Hockey team?
    A: Because then Vancouver will want one too.

    Q: What do you get when you combine all 23 Columbus Jackets with 23 lesbians?
    A: Fourty-Six people that dont do dick!

    Q: What’s the difference between the Rexall Place and a red light district?
    A: In a red light district, you pay $300 bucks and somebody scores.

    Q: What do college students and the Leafs have in common?
    A: They’ve both finished their year by April.

    Q: How do you keep a Ducks fan from masturbating?
    A: You paint his dick Kings colors and and he won't beat it!

  3. #23
    Registered Redophile King Ludwig's Avatar




    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    5,186
    Liked
    3190 times
    Karma
    62220000
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    225 Post(s)

    Default

    A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

    “Hurry!, she said, “It’s my husband! Stand in the corner.”

    She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him, and then she dusted him with talcum powder.

    “Don’t move until I tell you to,” she whispered. “Just pretend you’re a statue.”

    “What’s this, honey?”, the husband inquired as he entered the room.

    “Oh, it’s just a statue, she replied nonchalantly. “The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too.”

    No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep. Around 2 AM the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.

    “Here,” he said to the ‘statue’. “Eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smiths for three days and nobody offered me as much as a glass of water.”

  4. #24
    Dolphins Hate Sharks! orpheus's Avatar




    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Posts
    17,031
    Liked
    7854 times
    Karma
    2147483647
    Mentioned
    5 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    410 Post(s)

    Default

    So these two guys meet a woman in a bar, and they talk, and she offers if they want to go home with her. And when they get to her place, she tells them that they have to wear these things otherwise she will get pregnant.

    They put them on, and then they go at it.

    2 weeks later after they slept with the woman, the two guys are talking, and one of them says, I don't care if she get's pregnant, I am tired of keeping it on, and taking it off.

  5. #25
    Registered Redophile King Ludwig's Avatar




    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    5,186
    Liked
    3190 times
    Karma
    62220000
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    225 Post(s)

    Default

    A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night at dinner, she does just that.

    A week later she's back at the doctor, complaining of stiffness in her back and neck, and says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn`t five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off and ravaged me right there on the table!"

    The doctor says, "I'm sorry, we didn't realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages."

    "Nah," she says, "that's okay. We're never going back to Denny’s any time soon."
    ChilledAgua and orpheus like this.

  6. #26
    Dolphins Hate Sharks! orpheus's Avatar




    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Posts
    17,031
    Liked
    7854 times
    Karma
    2147483647
    Mentioned
    5 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    410 Post(s)

    Default

    I think boning at Denny's is a rite of passage. Talk about a Grand Slam Breakfast were you dip your sausage into the syrup.
    Last edited by orpheus; October 27th, 2012 at 04:43 PM.
    Atticus likes this.

  7. #27
    Dolphins Hate Sharks! orpheus's Avatar




    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Posts
    17,031
    Liked
    7854 times
    Karma
    2147483647
    Mentioned
    5 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    410 Post(s)

    Default

    So there was this guy whose birthday was on Monday.

    When he leaves the house on said day, no one in his family wishes him a Happy Birthday. And at work, well, no luck. But later one of his female workers starts acting really nice to him. She then tells that he should go home with her because she has a surprise for him, and he agrees.

    When they are at her place, she then excuses herself and says she will get his surprise.

    He figures he will get lucky so he starts taking his clothes off.

    A few moments later, the woman co worker comes out with his family and friends, and they have a birthday cake and yell surprise, but they realize that at that point he's only wearing socks.
    TooCool likes this.

  8. #28
    Darkside 3/4 LOSTcauseZERO's Avatar




    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    2,312
    Liked
    1924 times
    Karma
    1000100
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    18 Post(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mmmcammy View Post
    An Irishman walks out of a bar.
    We've never met, but you just described me. haha
    mmmcammy likes this.

  9. #29
    Dolphins Hate Sharks! orpheus's Avatar




    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Posts
    17,031
    Liked
    7854 times
    Karma
    2147483647
    Mentioned
    5 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    410 Post(s)

    Default

    A vampire bat came into the cave covered with blood and when the other bats saw him, they started to smell and get a craving for the blood, so they asked him where he got it? He was tired and wanted to sleep, so he told the to leave him alone, but they kept insisting. Eventually, he gave in, and lead them to towards a mountain. And he asked them do you see that mountain? And they said yes. Then the bat says, well, I didn't when I was flying.

  10. #30
    Dolphins Hate Sharks! orpheus's Avatar




    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Posts
    17,031
    Liked
    7854 times
    Karma
    2147483647
    Mentioned
    5 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    410 Post(s)

    Default

    During a snowing day, a boy wears his snow boots to school. When he arrives to class, he takes them off and puts them in the class closet. After the class day is over, he walks over to the teacher and tells her that he cannot find his boots.

    She searches the closet and finds boots that look just like his and asks him, "Are you sure these are not your boots."

    "No, mine had snow on them."
    King Ludwig likes this.

Page 3 of 33 FirstFirst 1 2 3 4 5 13 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28