February 16th, 2014, 05:50 AM #311
You might be a redneck if you've ever accepted a belch over a call block...
February 24th, 2014, 12:37 PM #312
Most Dangerous Jobs In Star Wars
Death Star crew member
Gungan speech therapist
Stormtrooper shooting instructor
Skywalker foster parent
Slave girl in Jabba's palace
Insurance adjuster for the Death Star
A tourist in Australia was driving through the Australian Outback when he noticed a man on the side of the road having sex with a kangaroo.
A few kilometers further down the road he came upon a small town, parked his car and went into the pub for a drink.
He grabbed a beer and had a look around the bar and noticed a one-legged guy sitting in the corner masturbating without a care in the world.
The tourist turned to the bartender and said, "What sort of country is this? A few kilometers down the road there was a guy having sex with a kangaroo and now that guy in the corner is masturbating in public."
The bartender said, "You heartless bastard, he's only got one leg, how do you expect him to catch a kangaroo?"
An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never been with a woman. After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad. She ends up corresponding with a man who has lived his entire life in the Australian Outback.
They end up getting married. On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the festivities. When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, naked, and all the furniture from the room piled in one corner.
“What happened?” she asks.
“I’ve never been with a woman,” he says, “but if it’s anything like a kangaroo, I’m gonna need all the room I can get.”