Reaching out with ones stick to poke check the puck while still currently on the bench.
No way the NHL allows that.
If you push the puck into the net with your hand, you get fisted by Zdeno Chara. If it is Zdeno Chara, we use Andre the Giants skull
If called for diving, Johnathan Quick gets to host your child's karaoke birthday party after a bender.
Penalties for boarding will now be served in a dark room where drew doughty is giggling naked.
Goalies caught diving either serve a 2 minute minor where they are in the box with no goalie, or they lick Orpheus' blow hole, their choice.
Too many men on the ice penality = you lose one of your coaches for the rest of the game.
If a Linesman screws up an offside call or an icing. The screwed team get to pick a fan from the audience to fill in for him.
The goalie of the opposing team that give up a hat trick, he has to buy all the hats on the ice, the money will be donated to the Kings Care Foundation.
When Ryan Clowe get caught cheating this year, he has to buy everyone a McFlurry
Whenever visiting Montreals stadium, it is mandatory for the others team to drop a steamer in the shape of #33 on their goal. Same for Colorado.
2 minute minor for "holding" for Drew for every HJ he gives.
I think they should incorporate some Roller Games/ Roller Derby rules.
-- The area beyond each goal line shall be banked toward the goal crease.
-- Breakaways may begin using the "whip" to propel a player down the ice.
-- Instead of using shootouts, tie games shall be decided with a match race, 5 laps, anything goes.
Instead of having a faceoff after every goal, teams shall have a scrum to get the puck out of the net and continue play.
Before each game, the goalies shall draw a slip of paper out of a hat, which will list one item that he will be allowed to bring with him into goal and use during the game. These may be serious (taser, bolo) or silly (pom-poms, toilet brush).
Glow puck to decide goal/non goal situations (instant replay only)...will only glow if it CROSSES THE LINE... Though those in Toronto will be so color blind as to disallow it every time a Kings player scores...