Just a update. My father passed away December 3rd 435am with my and my brothers by his side. Very peaceful as he had become unresponsive day earlier after a heart attack but his pacemaker brought him back. We stopped all Meds and waited for him by his side for 16hrs. I will miss him and it's be hell of a hard time to do anything but mourn. I started a gofundme as we never had enough time to make arraignments and be financially prepared. Anything would be appreciated. Thank you guys.
Anyone ever have to deal with it?
Got the call today. My dad has no more course of action for his illness and they want him to come home for the last stage of his life.:17smile: Dont know what to do or how to feel. My mom is a wreck right now im trying to keep it together for my family. My dads only request has been to make it till Thanksgiving day his favorite holiday.
These holidays are gonna suck so bad :(
So sorry to hear this. My dad went through it a few years ago. Please make sure your mom gets as much support as possible. Even though it will seem like she wants to be with him all the time, she will need a break. As will any other care givers. Even just a 10 minute walk outside. I found great comfort in reading the newspaper to my dad every day once he could no longer do that, and also I read to him from his railroad magazines, as he was a big railfan.
Feel free to PM me if you would like to talk further. We have met at at least on LGK pickup game. My sympathies are with you and your family.
The main thing you need is a compassionate nurse. One who is proficient and will gladly administer morphine so your dad is in zero pain. If you don't get these 3 qualities ask for another nurse, or change hospice providers.
In Orange County I can personally recommend Saddleback hospice. Saddleback is non profit, which usually means the time a nurse can spend with your dad is greatly increased, vis a vis a profit hospice means lots of patients, shorter visits (gotta keep the money rolling in). Look for a non profit hospice.
Thoughts & Prayers go out to you and your family.
I realize that everyone has to live their lives and the like, but if I had known my dad was leaving us before he did, I would have taken the time off of work, paid or not, to enjoy every last minute that I could.
I worked for a hospice and both my Grandmother and my wife's Grandmother were on hospice. As said before the experience is dependent on the relationship with the treatment team especially the the RN that is administering the care. A good hospice will provide (pre)bereavement services to your mom and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, feel free to PM me as well.
Originally Posted by Birdman
I've gone through Hospice 3 times in my life. I found it to be a great thing for my brother, mom, then dad to die at home. It is a hard time. The hardest thing to get used to is that Hospice is not there for life saving measures. They are there for comfort and dignity for your loved ones. I hate to say it but, if you or your mom are going to call 911 every time your Pop starts to crash, and your Pop wants you to do that, you nor he is ready for hospice care.
I'm not trying to be cold or cruel, but that is what is about. You need to sit yourself, your siblings, your mom and Pop, if he is able to give input with hospice and see if this is what you all want.
I really think, if he is able to make this call, it is your Pops, and everyone, though it is hard and painful, needs to abide with it.
Originally Posted by x-wingcamewest
Some on this board remember what I went through with my close friend, who I considered a brother, a few years back. He had leukemia and after a bone marrow transplant, it came back. When it did, he made the decision to stop treatment and spend his last days at home because his doctors felt he wouldn't survive another round of Chemotherapy. His parents didn't agree with him, but they followed through with his wishes. We all spent as much time as we could with him in the last few days, and Hospice was there to help his family through it and to make him comfortable before he passed.
Tim didn't want to die in a hospital going through another round of chemo, what he likened to a painful death in a prison, he wanted to go at home around his family and friends. The last night I spent with him talking about his life, and to not make the same mistakes he did, I'll remember forever.
Sorry to hear your father is in such bad shape. Hopefully you have a community around you that can help with the support you will need. Nyssa's right, 10 minute breaks are a huge help. Do what you can to support your parents but don't forget to accept the help people offer you as well.
Been through hospice twice with grandparents. Best thing I can suggest is see your dad as much as you can. Sorry you are going through this.
Thank you guys for the input and kind words. I will def be PM some of you with a bit more questions.
I spoke with him about somethings you guys brought up about freaking out and wanting to call 911 and get medical attention and so forth. He said he is done and last thing he wants is to die in a hospital. He rather stay home have some sprite and evan williams and be around family. Hes very content with his life and hes always been a strong father figure and seeing him weak and not able to even feed himself is surely killing him inside. I want my dad to go on his terms.
Though i feel good and strong i know when the time comes ill break down and dont know how to prepare myself. This def has to be the hardest thing to do in life.
Thank you all for the support :monkeykiss: