I BELIEVE I'll have another beer!
This is a true 4th of July story. 9 years ago we had a dog named Juno. The morning of the 4th I went out back to enjoy my coffee. I noticed Juno get up on her hind legs under the low branches of the avocado tree and come back down with a gray bird.
My first thought was, "Stupid Pigeon. That's what ya get."
Juno turns and I see that the bird has orange circles on it's cheek. OMG IT'S A PARROT!! I yell, "Juno! Drop the parrot," and a half naked black man came leaping over the brick wall dividing our property to the north yelling at Juno to drop his pet.
The man makes a sudden lunge at Juno and she kinda drops the parrot, which starts hobbling away.
I'd already had a few swallows of coffee, in case you were worried. Thanks.
When he made the move to Juno, she freaked out and grabbed the bird, running across the yard like a rocket under the house. \
Where she ate his bird. I got a flashlight just to make sure there wasn't some slim hope that his parrot was still alive. I was in total shock when I told him his bird was toast.
And then I finished my coffee.
Happy 4th of July!!