Thought the article specified no phallic references to be allowed, tho.
Vocational Guidance Counsellors
Pimps (I can just picture the advertising - Come see the [opponent name here] get roughed up by your Pimps...)
I don't really understand the trademark issue. There's two different Kings, Giants, Rangers, Cardinals, and Panthers, and that's just in the 4 major sports. There are 76 NCAA teams with some form of Eagles. Just call them the Vegas Knights and call it a day. They can have jousting tournaments during intermission.