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  1. #1
    Taxi Squad
    What party?'s Avatar
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    Default Deadspin punches all 31 NHL teams in the junk...and I love it.

    https://deadspin.com/every-nhl-team-...iew-1818851595

    Who's ready for some levity? Just for a few minutes, then you can go back to processing unresolved sadness, anger and guilt. Blech.

    This guy kind of made my day with this gem:
    "Anaheim Ducks

    2016-17 record: 46-23-13

    What’s bad: Sure, the Ducks let you down every year, but at least their best players are unlikable dicks too. Ryan Getzlaf and Corey Perry are the Han Solo and Chewbacca of on-ice *******ry and now that they’re past their prime, they can decimate the Ducks’ cap space for the next four years."

  2. #2
    A Huevo!!!
    Drop The Gloves's Avatar
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    Default

    I liked:

    San Jose Sharks

    2016-17 record: 46-29-7

    Even if they are leading the race for the Presidents’ Trophy in March, you just know one of their three best players is rupturing something in a play involving Dustin Brown.

  3. #3
    Stanley Cup Champions !!
    Trapper9's Avatar
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    Default

    Regarding Garth Snow

    "He’s blown more first-round picks than Lisa Ann"

  4. #4
    Sausage King of Chicago
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    Default

    Owner Vinnie Viola almost became Secretary of the Army but had to withdraw due to having history’s most fake-sounding mafia name. Just kidding, it was actually for punching a guy at a horse auction.
    Look at this guy. Tell me everyone who works for him doesn't call him Don Viola. Such a shame he wasn't named Secretary of the Army. Think North Korea would be ****ing with us if Vinnie was in charge of the army? Kim Jong Un would wake up with the head of the horse Vinnie bought at that horse auction in his bed. Nobody ****s with Vinnie. Nobody.


  5. #5
    Benchwarmer
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    Default

    "Because when you want to teach a young core about winning in the playoffs, you turn to a San Jose Shark that choked so badly for so long they stripped him of the captaincy."

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