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  1. #1
    magniloquent
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    Default The Kings Will NOT Make The Playoffs

    I've been pretty good over the past few decades predicting if the Kings will or not make the playoffs.

    I've been pretty accurate (trades..? Atrocious)

    Here's why they won't this year:

    1) They're too fricken SLOW
    Doughty might be great but he ain't fast. Forbort is a mess at best. Muzzin had a terrible season last year. It ain't gonna get much better. Marty was overworked and had a terrible season as well. It won't get any better. Phaneuf? Please. He's slower than a snail on quaaludes. Daniel Brickley? You're holding out hopes on a college kid? LaDue? Fantenberg? Colin was at least a decent stop-gap.

    The defense is what's gonna kill the Kings this season. The rest of the league is just too damn fast.

    2) Kopitar's career year:
    He had an amazing year. So did Dustin Brown. Kovalchuk is an upgrade over Iafallo but Kopitar and Brown's numbers will decline and Kovi's numbers will be decent, BUT it will likely be LESS than what Brown and Kopitar produced COMBINED last season playing with Iafallo.

    3) 3rd and 4th lines.
    For years, the 3rd and 4th lines have sucked worse than a Vegas hooker. Did it get any better? Nope. It's still a mess. Kempe folded like origami the last 30+ games.

    4) Back-Up goaltender
    Kings have been lucky with Budaj and Darcy. Look at Quick's number of wins over the past 2 seasons. 41-33 is NOT impressive. The back-ups? Impressive. I'm not sold on Campbell at all.

    5) Power-less play
    The Kings with Pierre Turgeon were horrible on the pp - with him gone, how does it get better?

    6) Oilers, Stars and Calgary
    All improved during the off-season. The Kings? They signed Kovalchuk and that's it. No defensive help. No veteran.

    The Kings are going to have a surprisingly miserable season. John will be fired and the mini-rebuild will begin. Have NEVER been sold on Rob Blake and never will. Sure, he's signed Iafallo and some college kids, but what HAS he done? Win? Nope.

    Sorry, folks. The Kings ain't making the playoffs.

  2. #2
    Nyssa's Minion
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    Default

    So you're saying there's a chance?

  3. #3
    Been here longer than u
    RoyalJester's Avatar
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    Default

    I'm going to get blasted for this... Luc needs to go as well. He has put more thought into glitz and glam (seriously did we need his statue to be IN COLOR... over Gretz and Chick?) and has totally failed in areas of season ticket support, community communications and marketing and finally... digital ticket sales. Now there is no way to listen to the games on free radio... we need to pay for it via streaming (wait... think about this folks, the APP is free but your DATA... there ya go... got it now?)

    I'm glad I saved my cash over the years... my new car is really cool (and preforms each and every day.)

  4. #4
    Nyssa's Minion
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    Why you gotta fill out forms before other forms before other forms to drive the new car?

  5. #5
    Part IV. A new begining..
    empire's Avatar
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    ��
    Last edited by empire; September 21st, 2018 at 08:59 PM.

  6. #6
    Team Melf.
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    Default

    What happened with the Good Guys movie, my guy?
    Support Be the Match through Tanner's site

    http://www.bethematchfoundation.org/...&team_id=23513

  7. #7
    1st Scoring Line
    MiketheKing's Avatar
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    Default

    Not expecting too much, but glad I purchased NHL.tv to watch other exciting teams around the chel.

  8. #8
    4th Line Insurance Policy
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    Default

    Good things will certainly not continue to be good.

    Bad things will definitely continue to be bad. Or perhaps get worse.

    Everyone who sucked last year should be gone.

    Everyone who has not sucked yet should be preemptively tossed, before they begin sucking. Unless they suck enough to expedite the tanking process.

    Players who have not proven themselves yet are worthless.

    Players who have proven themselves are over the hill, and can't possibly sustain their previous success, and are also therefore worthless.

    Any former player who once pissed off the fanbase should be fired immediately, as his excellent work over the past 15 months must be some kind of trap. And we're not falling for it.

    Any former assistant coach under Darryl Sutter must have only absorbed his negative traits, and none of the ones that led to those Stanley Cups. Cut him loose. Like, yesterday.

    Best defensive team in the league? Ha! We're not falling for that one either! The defense will kill the Kings this year. Downgrading from Folin to Brickley is sure to account for at least an extra 200 goals against.

    Kovalchuk? Too slow.

    Carter? Broken.

    Iafallo? If he hasn't scored yet, he must be too slow.

    Kempe? Definitely too slow.

    Reddekopp? Doesn't use Prell.

    Lintuniemi? Kicks dogs.

    Luff? Shops at Wal-Mart.

    But the real culprit, the real reason the Kings will never win anything, is all the silly stuff Luc keeps coming up with that annoys us. T-shirt cannons? Totally 90's. Loud music? So last century. This team will never go anywhere in the playoffs with Dave Joseph behind the mic.

  9. #9
    Concussed Villain
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Goon Squad View Post
    Good things will certainly not continue to be good.

    Bad things will definitely continue to be bad. Or perhaps get worse.

    Everyone who sucked last year should be gone.

    Everyone who has not sucked yet should be preemptively tossed, before they begin sucking. Unless they suck enough to expedite the tanking process.

    Players who have not proven themselves yet are worthless.

    Players who have proven themselves are over the hill, and can't possibly sustain their previous success, and are also therefore worthless.

    Any former player who once pissed off the fanbase should be fired immediately, as his excellent work over the past 15 months must be some kind of trap. And we're not falling for it.

    Any former assistant coach under Darryl Sutter must have only absorbed his negative traits, and none of the ones that led to those Stanley Cups. Cut him loose. Like, yesterday.

    Best defensive team in the league? Ha! We're not falling for that one either! The defense will kill the Kings this year. Downgrading from Folin to Brickley is sure to account for at least an extra 200 goals against.

    Kovalchuk? Too slow.

    Carter? Broken.

    Iafallo? If he hasn't scored yet, he must be too slow.

    Kempe? Definitely too slow.

    Reddekopp? Doesn't use Prell.

    Lintuniemi? Kicks dogs.

    Luff? Shops at Wal-Mart.

    But the real culprit, the real reason the Kings will never win anything, is all the silly stuff Luc keeps coming up with that annoys us. T-shirt cannons? Totally 90's. Loud music? So last century. This team will never go anywhere in the playoffs with Dave Joseph behind the mic.

    Gong.

  10. #10
    2 Late to Change My Name
    HeadInjury's Avatar
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    Default

    You said we weren't going to make the playoffs last year and you were wrong as usual.

    Keep up the good work.

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