Thanks Thanks:  0
Page 39 of 39 FirstFirst ... 29373839
Results 381 to 389 of 389

Thread: The Stupid/Not So Stupid Joke Thread - Part II

  1. #381
    Team LGK
    JWR's Avatar
    Karma: 12204230
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    3,362
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    474 Post(s)

    Default

    Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says,

    "Listen here, good looking. I will screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, their place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on... It doesn't matter to me. I just love it!"

    His eyes now wide with interest, he responds, " No kidding... I'm in Government too. Are you federal or state?"
    "Like the wind crying endlessly through the universe, Time carries away the names and the deeds of conquerors and commoners alike. And all that we are, all that remains, is in the memories of those who cared we came this way for a brief moment." Harlan Ellison

  2. #382
    Registered Redophile
    King Ludwig's Avatar
    Karma: 89873000
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    6,796
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    630 Post(s)

    Default

    What's the first thing you do before driving a Ford Pinto???

    Call the tow truck...

  3. #383
    Registered Redophile
    King Ludwig's Avatar
    Karma: 89873000
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    6,796
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    630 Post(s)

    Default

    I was visiting the cemetery and couldn't help noticing a man kneeling in front of a gravestone...clasping his hands and sobbing... I went a bit closer and could hear what the man was saying...

    "Why did you have to die???" he was repeating, "Why did you have to die???"

    Feeling that I ought to do something to alleviate the man's obvious distress I laid a hand on the his shoulder saying gently..."Was it someone you loved very much???"

    The man looked up at me and said..."No...I never met him... He was my wife's first husband..."

  4. #384
    Registered Redophile
    King Ludwig's Avatar
    Karma: 89873000
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    6,796
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    630 Post(s)

    Default

    Anaheim police wish to alert local residents about the activities of an infamous cross-eyed burglar... If you see this man staring in your windows, warn the people next door...

  5. #385
    Registered Redophile
    King Ludwig's Avatar
    Karma: 89873000
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    6,796
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    630 Post(s)

    Default

    There was a guy who is interested in the concept of psychic phenomena...the concept where one day you suddenly hear from a guy who died 20 years ago... You know...a bit like first-class mail...

  6. #386
    Registered Redophile
    King Ludwig's Avatar
    Karma: 89873000
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    6,796
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    630 Post(s)

    Default

    How do you kill a circus???

    Go for the juggler...

  7. #387
    Registered Redophile
    King Ludwig's Avatar
    Karma: 89873000
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    6,796
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    630 Post(s)

    Default

    Someone came up to me and said that I didn't have a joke for every subject...

    "All right...what is the subject???"

    "Beavers..."

    "Dam!!!"

  8. #388
    Registered Redophile
    King Ludwig's Avatar
    Karma: 89873000
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    6,796
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    630 Post(s)

    Default

    A farmer came up to me with 88 sheep and asked me to round them up for him...

    I said "90..."...

  9. #389
    All Star
    salami's Avatar
    Karma: 3344572
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Posts
    5,843
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quoted
    771 Post(s)

    Default

    A cleric, a priest and a rabbit walk into a bar. The rabbit says, "I think I'm a typo."

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •