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Thread: The Stupid/Not So Stupid Joke Thread - Part II

  1. #421
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    How do you tell the sex of an ant?

    Drop an ant in the water, if it sinks: Girl Ant. If it floats: Boy Ant.

  2. #422
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    What's the difference between people in Dubai and people in Abu Dhabi?

    People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones, but people in Abu Dhabi do.
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.

  3. #423
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    Was Newark NJ named by a dyslexic that tried to spell wanker???

  4. #424
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    Smoking will kill you...

    Bacon will kill you...

    But smoking bacon will cure it


  5. #425
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    The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills.

    The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that.

    But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what calibre the bullet was that killed the animal.

    The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and so the bet was on. They blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first animal skin. After feeling it for a few moments, he announced "Bear." Then he felt the bullet hole and declared, "Shot with a .308 rifle."

    He was right.

    They brought him another skin, one that someone had in their car trunk. He took a bit longer this time and then said, "Elk, Shot with a 7mm Mag rifle."

    He was right again.

    Through the night, he proved his skills again and again, every time against a round of drinks.

    Finally he staggered home, drunk out of his mind,and went to sleep. The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one hell of a shiner.

    He said to his wife, "I know I was drunk last night, but not drunk enough to get in a fight and not remember it. Where did I get this black eye?"


    His wife angrily replied, "I gave it to you. You got into bed and put your hand down my panties. Then you fiddled around a bit and loudly announced, "Skunk, killed with an axe."

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    This cute redhead of a therapist saw me yesterday and asked me if I wanted anything...

    Without missing a beat...I said...a kiss...

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