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Book Review: Eviscerated Panda – A Metal Tale | Geeks of Doom

As a huge fan of heavy metal music I’m a sucker for a ‘metal tale’. I’ve read more than my fair share of the things, but often come away from the page, eyes suitably rolled at a whole book based around a simple premise along the shaky lines of, “what story? Didn’t you see I just wrote ‘Satan’ and ‘horns’ in the same sentence? In a book!” and my faith in my metal-loving friends with an ability to use a typewriter wilts in despair. So it was with understandable caution that I approached my next book, Eviscerated Panda – A Metal Tale.

All anxieties were swiftly blown away by an imaginary Marshall stack: Hell’s Bells is this good!



Eviscerated Panda is a thrash metal band trying hard to make a name for themselves around the Midlands and south of England. Based in the town of Reading, the five band members hang out at their local metal pub planning their next move which will take The Pandas to the world stage. Playing gigs, drinking beer, and (nearly) having threesomes, the band and their friends/significant others experience the unparalleled joys of being in your first band: the first gig in London and the first album.

Sarah Tipper’s debut novel is a constant joy to read and moves along at an excellent pace. The characters and relationships are well defined and each of their back-stories and complicated love lives excellently handled. It’s a pretty cosy community, one that feels very familiar because if you’ve spent any time around local musicians you will recognize someone in one of the characters. Like the older, thinning-haired member of the band who has ‘been there’ and is still a little bitter about not having ‘done that’ in his career.

What I love about Eviscerated Panda… is the metal is what brings them together (and sometimes keeps them apart). Tipper never takes the story into any parody territory and still manages to make it very funny at times; she has really put some thought into how metal can benefit the story, like relationships are contemplated and can hinge on whether the other person prefers Ronnie James Dio or Ozzy Osbourne as Black Sabbath’s lead singer (yes, it is important).

Eviscerated Panda is heavy on the heavy metal references and while it’s true this could alienate some readers, for those who know what Paradise Lost sound like it and who Dave Mustaine is, it adds so much life to every chapter.

So yes, I will read just about anything with the words ‘heavy’ and or ‘metal’ in the title. This sometimes creates confusion in my little brain, but I haven’t read another metal tale with so much depth in story and character as Eviscerated Panda. This is a surprisingly assured, confident and funny debut novel from a new British novelist.
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Check Out 2 New Posters For Movie Based On The KISS Album ‘Music From The Elder’ | Geeks of Doom

Depending on who you talk to, the ninth album by rock band KISS is either a hugely brave and accomplished album which marks the band’s unsurpassed greatest moment or a steaming heap of pretentious bile (admittedly, the former is quite rare). Still, 31 years later one man has taken his love of the album one step further than the average Knight In Satan’s Service and decided to turn Music From ‘The Elder’ into a movie, simply titled The Elder.

And not just a short film, either. This will be a feature “post-apocalyptic road movie” by Seb Hunter, the British writer of the excellent book Hell Bent For Leather – Confessions Of A Heavy Metal Addict. Hunter has recently released two new posters for his movie and you can check them out below.



The album tells the story of a young boy being trained by the elders in preparation for combating the forces of evil, who then goes on to rock and roll all night and party everyday (not really).

The movie is still in pre-production and by clicking the link you can help to FUND THE MOVIE, which will entitle you to some lovely extras.
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Gerry Bron, veteran producer and manager, dies at 79 | Classic Rock

Producer and band manager Gerry Bron has died at the age of 79.

He worked closely with Uriah Heep for many years. He gave the band their name, managed their affairs and served behind the desk for their 1970 debut album Very ‘Eavy, Very ‘Umble, then every subsequent release until 1980′s Conquest.

His label Bronze Records was home to acts including Heep, Motorhead, Colosseum and the Damned. He’d also worked with Manfred Mann and Gene Pitney.

His son Richard tweeted: “Very sadly my father passed away yesterday morning very unexpectedly. Rest in peace Dad – we all love you.”
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So Geoff Tate is no longer a member in Queensr?che.

BLABBERMOUTH.NET - It's Official: QUEENSR

I'm a big Queensr?che fan, at least of their early material, and I'm conflicted. On one hand, I haven't liked anything QR and Tate has done in over a decade and his voice is definitely nowhere near where it used to be, but on the other hand QR without Tate and DeGarmo is like Metallica without Hetfield and Ulrich. It just feels wrong.

Their new singer is absolutely incredible though, and he sounds JUST LIKE Tate in his prime, I mean it's uncanny:



I'm excited to see what they can come up with.
 
Not sure how much faith to put in this. First off LaTorre is still w/Crimson Glory(not that that should take up too much time). Second, Tate has been meaning to do a solo album/tour for a while. And Queensryche is known for constantly touring. This feels like a set up to me. Tate gets to flex his egooooerrrrrrrrrmuscles and 'Ryche keeps touring and keeping the name alive. I'm not sure, but I think the one non-original member of Qr is Tate's son-in-law...so, yeah. Funny thing is after the last album, which I loved but was not your typical Qr, both Tate and the band have said they wanted to get back to harder music. Now both are gonna do it seperately. Like I said...something ain't sitting right here.
 
I would pay $15 every year for Queensryche to not release an album.
 
KingInTheWest said:
I would pay $15 every year for Queensryche to not release an album.
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That's a bit harsh. Granted they have not reached MINDCRIME heights since...MINDCRIME, but I for one always welcome a new QR release. Good musicianship and Tate(at least on cd) is one of the best. Like I said, the last cd was alienating...but I really loved it. There are not enough heavy or hell...even rock bands putting out new music, so you have to support those that do. Don't like em...fair enough. But to suggest they should pack it in...I can't get behind that.
 
BigBrown said:
So Geoff Tate is no longer a member in Queensr?che.

BLABBERMOUTH.NET - It's Official: QUEENSR

I'm a big Queensr?che fan, at least of their early material, and I'm conflicted. On one hand, I haven't liked anything QR and Tate has done in over a decade and his voice is definitely nowhere near where it used to be, but on the other hand QR without Tate and DeGarmo is like Metallica without Hetfield and Ulrich. It just feels wrong.

Their new singer is absolutely incredible though, and he sounds JUST LIKE Tate in his prime, I mean it's uncanny:



I'm excited to see what they can come up with.
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I actually enjoyed that.

Geez to have a voice like that...
 
jerseydevil said:
That's a bit harsh. Granted they have not reached MINDCRIME heights since...MINDCRIME, but I for one always welcome a new QR release. Good musicianship and Tate(at least on cd) is one of the best. Like I said, the last cd was alienating...but I really loved it. There are not enough heavy or hell...even rock bands putting out new music, so you have to support those that do. Don't like em...fair enough. But to suggest they should pack it in...I can't get behind that.
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I generally find it ludicrous when people say that an album or a movie sequel is so bad that it makes the earlier product worse, but in the case of Queensryche, I make the exception. Even as one of the few people that think Hear In The Now Frontier is a good album, I think they went right off a cliff and straight into the toilet after that. Other than a few good moments on Mindcrime 2, the last several albums have been bland at best and craptacular at worst. Iron Maiden and Rush still manage to create good music, even if their recent CDs cannot compare to the masterpieces they produced 20 years ago. And Bruce Dickinson still sounds incredible in concert (down from ungodly amazing in his heydey).
 
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