The Stupid/Not So Stupid Joke Thread - Part II

What's the difference between a mosquito and an IRS agent???

One is a blood sucking parasite and the other one is a mosquito...
 
I don't remember if I posted this one or not...

Motherless and fatherless, born without a skin...
Spoke when I first came into the world and never heard again...
What am I?











A fart...
 
A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons.

So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your
note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk.

Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"

The blonde said,
"No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."

The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"

The blonde said:

"No, just up to my boobs,
I can splash it on my eyes if I need to."

:)
 
A blonde...a brunette...and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early... "Hey girls..." says the brunette... "Let's go home early tomorrow... She'll never know..."

The next day, they all leave right after the boss does... The brunette gets some extra gardening done...the redhead goes to a bar...and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss!!! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time...

"That was fun..." says the brunette... "We should do it again sometime..."

"No way..." says the blonde... "I almost got caught!!!"
 
I walked into a bookshop and I asked the store assistant if Prince Harry’s book is available to download.
She said “do you want the PDF file?”
I said no, that’s his uncle.
 
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Now Chirping

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