What party?
Taxi Squad
"...Crazy, yeah, that's how it goes" (jazzy remix intro)
Since Ozzy passed, I’ve been tempted to reconnect with him somehow, yeah, that sounds right. The universe put "The Osbournes" (peacock) in my algorithm and boom, a window opened. It is borderline unwatchable, no shade, no tea. Acknowledged, it's a time and place show, which is the partial magic. It is reality tv without the scripted reality. Does Ozzy really spend an episode trying to get a cat down off a high shelf? Yes, and we watched it. But, if memory serves, they used to beep the profanity due to the PG13 nature of MTV, so it was mostly the equivalent to a techno song of beeps with no bassline to drive it. Unfortunately now, the novelty has worn off (so have the standards)so if you find a sentence without a profane word it’s the dog (Lola) barking. And, I love, love, love to swear, truly, I do so this feels like a betrayal but I swear(ha!) it’s not.
So, I pushed on, then episode three hit me, hard. It Opens with a *chuckling* CD release party/midnight appearance by Ozzy at (still laughing) Tower Records(history channel material for the interior shot of that place)with a meet and greet/fan picture option. Great! Back in. Followed by a "Love Line" appearance at KROQ with Dr.Drew and Adam Corolla, Ozzy talked about how he took Viagra due to depression meds (so 2025- ahead of his time, atta boy Ozzy) and Sharon would fall asleep before they…activated. Still funny. While the kids (15 yr old-almost 16) faux-hawked Jack and (17yr old) pretty in pink-haired Kelly use their father’s name to squeak past the bouncers go see live music at the ROXY. The effing Roxy (which as memory serves, was 18+yes?) and live music? Whaaaa--? Now, the Osbournes are cookin' & I’m here for the “documenting the early 2000’s" vibe. Can't exactly call it a "hate watch" nor a guilty pleasure,it exists more in the greys. No labels. Which I'm sure a Birmingham boy can appreciate. That said, I'll take the good, the bad and the ugly from the Osbournes. For at least one more season.
Aside: So far, nine episodes in, highlight: Ozzy trying to open a DVD of Chris Farley’s greatest skits at SNL for obvious reasons. It was challenging for him, it is a DVD and the picture of Chris is as a Chippendales dancer on the cover. Middleground: Sharon tries to urinate in a bottle of Jack Daniels because she's tired of a certain house guest squatting at her house. Kelly takes the highroad and throws the bottle out. Lowlight: Ozzy has a birthday party: he’s 52. That broke me. That decrypted mummy walking mumble mouthed bastard was 52? Jesus. For reference, I do believe Jennifer Aniston is also 56 this year, so…2025 for the win. Perhaps?
