The Stupid/Not So Stupid Joke Thread - Part II

A man calls the 911 and says " I need an ambulance! my wife's in labor, I think she's having a tough time!" The 911 operator asks him "Is this her first child?" The guy says " No, this is her husband ."
 
JETS GARAGE said:
A man calls the 911 and says " I need an ambulance! my wife's in labor, I think she's having a tough time!" The 911 operator asks him "Is this her first child?" The guy says " No, this is her husband ."
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Party like an undertaker.............

Grab a cold one. :rimshot:
 
When Lightening strikes it sometimes electrocutes people because it doesn't know how to conduct itself
 
Teacher: Johnny, are you chewing gum?

Johnny: Yes Ma'am.....

Teacher: Well, I hope you brought enough for everyone.

Johnny: What are you? Some kind of #^&%ing communist?
 
The next time you don't see any toilet paper on the shelves...buy all the plungers...

That'll teach 'em to hoard all the toilet paper...
 
Prince: The only dude that could walk into the club wearing ruffles, eyeliner, heels and steal your girl!
 
Little Johnny and Little Billy were boasting about their fathers...

Johnny: "My father can beat up your father..."

Billy: "My father can beat up your father..."

Johnny: "I'd like to see that because my father is YOUR father!!!"
 
Corned Beef became popular with Irish Americans because the Irish often lived alongside Jews.

They were some rivalries, of course, but the Irish didn't mind the Jewish members of the community since they constantly need designated drivers. mhihi: :2231:
 
why shouldn't you ever iron a shamrock?

you don't want to press your luck.
 
why should you never ask a Leprechaun to loan you money?



He's always a little short.
 
you all need to be careful, the Amish Flu season is about to start.

The first symptoms are you get hoarse and buggy.
 
I'm homeschooling my kids due to the corona virus, and it is not going well.

In the first week, 2 students suspended for fighting and the teacher was caught drinking on the job.
 
"Fastest way to kill the coronavirus is to convince Hillary Clinton that it will testify against her."
 
Why isn't there any Kung Flu in Antartica?










The whole place has be in Ice 0lation
 
(Might as well get this April Fools gag in while it's hot...)

Logan Couture's dentist retired after filling in one cavity...

"It was the worst ten years of my life" the dentist was overheard saying to his nurse...
 
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